Saturday
First of al we need tothank everyone who helped me out this weekend since I was unable to return home. Matt who took over for me at Relay for Life as well as B House, Devin, Cheesy and of course Shelley for filling in the gaps.
Also want to thank the Friday Circle, Gatbuntons, Becky, Rachael and everyone who walked for our team.
Thank you for them pictures and for the prayers for mom. They are definitely helping.
Mom woke up around 4am, and was having a tough time with coughing. It is like when you are sick and have a plegm stuck in your chest that you just can’t cough out. Mom must have couphed off and on until 6am, we gave her the max dosage of morphine and that didn’t work, then we finalyy got her to let us give her Ativan and then she finally slept. She is coughing up a brwonish mucous now.
Mom doesn’t like to get morphine or Ativan because she wants to be alert. we are getting better at communicating with out her being able to speak.
We got mom out of bed today and brought her out into the kitchen area which is bright. You could tell she was happy to be around everyone instead of stuck in the dark room. We truned on music and we all got to take turns hugging her.
As I was bringing mom back to her room in the wheelchair, I asked myself… how am I doing this? How are we doing this? It reminded me of India and when my friend Sean went down there and I read about what he was doing down there, and I asked him how he was able to do it.
He told me… ” God will give you the strength.”
Thank you for all of your prayers and thoughts. It is what is enabling us to make it through each painful minute watching mom fading slowly, through each hacking cough, through listening to the hiss of oxygen, through wondering if mom will wake up, through wondering if each smile or hug will be the last.
Thank you for your love and support! Mom thanks you all too!
Dear Tita Cora, Tito Fort, Michael, and Christine,
It has been quite a heavy feeling inside me and I just had to release my emotions to Tim last night about my grief about the sad news about Tita Cora’s condition. I guess sometimes, it is ok to cry and just let it out and still wonder how things got worse so fast. I really love you guys. Tita Cora, even though I never knew my father, knowing you has been the closest thing to getting to know who he was as a person. I say thins because from what my Mom said, you were very dear to him.
I love you, Tita Cora. Please keep strong and positive. Focus on the good cells left in your body (imagine them fighting the bad cells. The least amount of negativity will allow the good flow through your system. Whatever it takes, please stay strong.
We are spending the entire weekend entertaining Tim’s side of the family. His brother and his children came over from Florida. Tim’s Mom came from Connecticut, and Tim worked so hard to get things in order. It was difficult for me to concentrate knowing your condition. Still working to finish report cards, is another stress source this weekend. I hope that by Tuesday, I will be released from this obligation. Life takes its own course while we struggle to customize its order according to what we want them to be. Yet, like we all know, Life will always challenge us for a reason.
Michael, is the Phoenix airport the nearest one to your place? If I can work it out, I would like to visit next weekend.